Healthy Conflict: Marriage & Relationship Advice from Drs John & Julie Gottman | Podcast Interview

I adore them. This video should be played in schools on a daily basis. It is fantastic and all families need this info.

I absolutely adore the implementation of code words. It's such a good way to cut right to the point, when miscommunication might be actively occurring. "Let your amygdala speak" is freaking beautiful!

I treasure this host's humility! This couple offers practical advice...right at 30:00, they offer a great template for opening up conversations with the goal of respectfully coming to a resolution...getting needs met.

The pain in my heart is unbearable, my husband leaving our marriage have put a ton in my heart, I have been telling myself am strong enough but am not sure I am, I haven’t been able to get him of my mind, I just want him back

Great interview!! Learned soooo much!

im gonna have to rewatch this or take notes. some good info in here but how can we recall this in tough times.

idk how to time stamp- 24:31, a little past the halfway mark Dan is saying he would evade the topic of the argument by criticizing his wife's manner of bringing it up. I could be wrong, but it crossed my mind that there might be something to explore there. He might want to dive deep on what he felt exactly and what made him feel the way about the way she brings it up. Then she'll be able to sympathize and won't bring it up in that way anymore. And i think the Imago model does a great job of structuring that conversation, at least the way I saw it play out on the Breakdown podcast with Mayim and Jonathan. In that case, for the purpose of Dan's healing, his wife would bring curiousity and ask about where or when was he first triggered by her approach to conflict. Would have to be at some later point when they are calm because it requires super disciplined for the questioner not to engage in an argument but to merely mirror what they hear, like a therapist.
Great information! Thank you so much.

Great conversation and so helpful. Wish, however, I knew all this all through our marriage. It just may be a little too late 😞

I don't understand how these conclusions can draw couples being monitored and hooked up to devices. This isn’t the real life situation when you know that you have people watching you.

I wish you had mentioned that Narcissists aren’t willing to be flexible in order to communicate in healthy, effective ways.

42:20 interesting, I’d take that comment about breaking a neck from the book stack as passive aggressive, but I guess when you have a humorous and healthy enough relationship that stuff works. Or maybe that’s a first line comment and when it doesn’t get done then she’d be more direct

excellent advice as in my experience if communication fails love ails and finally very painfully dies

19:20 32:30 40:30

Beautifully put, thank you so much for this interview. I would like to say something about the way that she guilts him still. She has a fear she will die, so it should not be his fear as well. He should do it out of respect and understanding for her fear that she has. And she shouldn’t wish for him to also have that same fear. She says something like “is he really loved me he would do it so that I do’t die” and that builds resentment. Of course he loves her, that’s not why he’s foregoing on the task. He’s not of the same understanding that she is. He doesn’t have the same urgency, she feels disrespected because her fear of dieing is not being addressed. 😊

Had a perfectly organized library, moved & placed books in storage, then had them delivered, having been haphazardly boxed. Have no help; traveling to make important connections with family and friends, and helping a daughter move in, took priority

a truthful interviewer -- calling a spade a spade instead of going with a gracious response that conceals real life toxic dynamics

Traducción al español estaría genial .
A varias personas latinas nos gustaría escuchalo o leerlo en español.

I’m concerned that the first three minutes in a given interaction won’t work. Marriage to one person within a close family tribe with whom we work & travel, strengthening bonds w family and friends, works for me. I’d agree to a prenup as long as my partner was warm , kind & affectionate (in private), not correcting or being sexually exploitative in public, while helping me make my own money through writing and ministering in my unique way. I am able to celebrate them, and I deeply appreciate it when my partner notices something positive about me and compliments it.

It’s interesting that they mentioned the notion of that if there’s conflict in a relationship that means it’s doomed, as an American viewpoint. It actually makes me feel better since I try my best to avoid American men while dating now at 42, and newly single. I’ve NEVER had that mindset about conflict as well as being strongly against *not* expressing emotions and *not* being emotionally vulnerable. I HATE when men do this. I was born and raised in the US, but with Slavic roots and upbringing and I need to have openness, vulnerability and emotional connection, and expressiveness in a deep, romantic relationship.

Love it question how can I inquire to be on your podcast

Dealing with conflict from an alcoholic cannot work until the alcoholic checks into a clinic and gets sober first. All bets are off until the conflict resolution is between two sober people.

The main thing I see is - LET GO. Not leave, run away. BUT SOMETIMES BE MORE OPEN. LET the stubornness go. Let the story go. Not tit for tat - well YOU do it first. NO, generously see if you are being the stubborn one and loosen it a bit. Give people their needs, because most of the time you can. No it won't be as draining as you think.

The poor dog doesn’t deserve those 2 humans in the example

✌️ "promo sm"

18 years together
He’s changed and lying about stupid things. Stonewalling me. Help!